How to deal with stress in the moment
You know theoretically what causes stress and what you should do about it but that doesn’t help you in the moment when you are triggered. What you really want to know is how to deal with stress in the moment.
Things crop up in our daily lives that trigger our stress response, things such as…
- Being made to feel like you aren’t good enough at work
- Confrontation
- Worry about family members
What can you actually do when you feel your fight/flight response being activated?
Developing the skill of Grounding
I use this technique with clients to help them to manage stress in the moment. For instance, if you are dealing with a difficult confronting conversation at work you can use grounding as a way to drop back into the present moment, to relax yourself and respond from a place of calm confidence.
To be clear, I am not talking here about the slightly different technique of grounding and earthing which is based on the theory that electrical charges from the earth can have a positive effect on our bodies.
When I talk about grounding in my classes and sessions what I am talking about is the practice of dropping into the present moment. The reason that this is a useful technique to practise is that it helps to move out of the stress response and away from its accompanying mental and physical manifestations.
When we experience a stressful situation our natural response is to go into protection mode. This will affect the way that we feel, the way that we think and the way that we behave. Our reaction will come from a place of protection.
Any technique that helps us to drop into the present moment will interrupt that protective response.
It will help us to release tension in the body caused by those feelings, drop into the here and now and will help us to regulate back to a calmer state.
It is from that calmer state that we are more able to react with intention and respond from our authentic self.
This technique works, but like with all these techniques the more you practise it, the easier it becomes.
Grounding to deal with stress in the moment – give it a try right now
- Sit back in your chair and take one conscious breath in and slowly exhale. As you do that, allow your body to drop into the support beneath you. Relax any tension that you notice, especially around the jaw, shoulders and fingers.
- Tune into your senses. Let your eyes wander around the room that you’re in. Start to tune into what you can see around you. Notice what you can hear and feel right now.
- Feel into the sensation of support from whatever you are sitting on. Feel the ground beneath your feet, or however they are supported right now. Get a sense of your clothes against your skin, of your temperature and any textures you can feel.
- As you do that, become aware of the feeling of your breath and, as much as you can, breathe in and out through your nose, softly and lightly.
Notice how it makes you feel to come back to the present moment in this way.
Notice your physical experience now, in relation to before you began.
Notice the quality of the mind now, compared to before.
Imagine if you could respond to difficult situations from this place of calm presence. It is in this state that we are more able to be compassionate and connect with others. Imagine how that might benefit your relationships.
Give this technique a try next time you have a difficult situation to deal with. It isn’t going to change the fact that situations are sometimes difficult, but it does give you a choice about how you respond.
Watch my short video on grounding you can find it in my Facebook Group as just one of a series of videos on ways to recover from stress.
And if you would like help and support to learn to recognise and regulate your stress response then take a look at my trauma-informed Calmer You coaching programme.
Let me know how you get on, I would love to hear from you.